11 February 2012

A Random Quirk: 2-11-12

We hope ya’ll have had a wonderful and eventful week, so we are here to wrap things up and to let you know what to keep an eye out for next!

This week’s blogs are going to all follow along a similar vein: Mythbusting! Whether you have got something itching to get off your chest, something you just need to vent about, or even a myth you are not quite sure is actually a myth, we can pretty much promise you we will cover it in our blogs this week. Have anything you are convinced we will not cover? Shoot us an email on the main GFB account or just post something on our wall, we will make sure at least one of our fabulous bloggers touches on the topics you want to see talked about.

We are still looking to have two people for each blog, and there are plenty of spots still open. Whether you are gender non conforming and you want to have your voice heard, you are the partner/ally/parent of someone who is trans*/gender non-conforming/what-have-you, or you are just an out and proud butch that is tired of being called a dude and wants their butchy voice heard, we want you!

As it stands currently on our columns:

Sundays is “FTM Chronicles” with WulfBoi
Mondays is “No Boundaries” with Chels
Tuesdays is “Partner Circle” with Emily
Wednesdays is “Kings United” with Chance Encounters
Thursdays is “It’s a Butch World Out There” with Kai
Fridays is “How Can I Help You?” with Sage Veritas
Saturdays is “A Random Quirk” with GFB Staff (for now!)

On that topic, keep on sending us your questions for our resident advice blogger Sage Veritas – we have to keep that boi busy! The advice email is, all submissions are anonymous and confidential. We are here to help in any way we possibly can.

We would like to add poetry and short stories to be posted on “A Random Quirk,” so if you would like to be a part of that then please utilize our Guest Submissions form and send it in to

Until next time, stay happy, healthy, and genderfuk-y.

Xx Emily

How Can I Help You? Fourth Edition

Q: My boyfriend is having trouble binding. What can he do to help fix this and stop being disappointed? And how can I help him?

A: The first think you need to do to help your boyfriend is take any and all duct tape, ace bandages, and other terrible, awful binding methods and throw them away. Hide them, burn them, do what you will, just make sure he is never binding with them again as they can cause serious damage.

Now that you have done away with those terrible awfuls, have him read the blog on binding in the Kings United section by our very own Chance W Encounters – he is the real authority on binding. However, I can give you some outsider cliffs notes on binding.

First things first: Buy. A. Binder. For the love of all things that are holy, just have him buy a binder. If you want to help him be more comfortable, go online with him (websites on the other blog!) and help him pick one out. Make sure he knows you are there to help and support him, as it is likely going to be a dysphoric experience for him the first time. Knowing that you are there for him in a loving, supporting fashion will help him maybe more than you will ever know.

Honestly, I am just scratching the surface here – making your boyfriend comfortable with his body is going to go far beyond binding. Not to whore ourselves out here, but keep an eye out for our other blogs, especially FTM Chronicles and Partner Circle, for your boyfriend and yourself, respectively.

The moral of this story is quite simple: respect each other and make sure you are communicating openly. The more comfortable you are with his gender identity, the more willing he will be to talk to you about other issues he is having, including his ‘disappointment’ with his binding experiences.

Q: I’m FTM and so is the man I love, but I fear that people will think we’re a lesbian couple that fell into the ‘trans-trend.’

A: The only person, in my humble opinion, who should have any say over who you date is you. Not the government, society, your parents, your friends, and especially not those who are members of the same community as you.

We are all supposed to be on the same side here, and somewhere amongst the in-fighting that fact became lost. Clearly we need to get back there fast if it has gotten so bad that we are afraid to get into relationships for fear of what our peers might call us.

You and your love are both men, so far as anyone that matters is concerned. More importantly, you are both caring human beings. If you want to be together, be together. Never let the fear of what others think control your choices; the second you do that you give them control over your life, and as I mentioned earlier, no one has the right to control your happiness.

If you two end up together, I wish you all the luck in the world. I can pretty much promise you it will not be easy, but it will most definitely be worth the fight in the end.

After all, love always is.

- Sage Veritas

09 February 2012

It's A Butch World Out There: B-B-B-Butch

So this week I had intended to continue with what I had written about last week, which was gathering input from “straight” individuals about how they perceived the butch community. However, what has been weighing on my thoughts recently is the quote from the fourth question of my last entry:

“Oh, you aren't gay. You really just want to be a man.”

While I love some of the people in my life I call my family, they have been known to utter this statement more than once. Being completely honest, there was a brief period in my where I wondered if I had been born into the wrong body. I always had felt as though there was something wrong with me; for some reason, my body in my head did not align with my idea of how it should appear.

Following my coming out at seventeen, I began working towards how I felt my image should look. Butching it up, slowly but surely, I went from wearing clingy women’s clothing to mens jeans and shirts. And you know what? I liked it. A lot. Recently I made an even more noticeable change and cut off a good 12 inches of my hair. I had wanted to do this for awhile, but sometimes it takes a little courage and a leap of faith to do so. (My courage just happened to come in the form of tequila). As simple a solution as it sounds, I became more content with how I looked just by changing how I represented myself.

How do I feel about myself right now? Not 100%. I have good days and bad days. But my unhappiness with how I look does not stem from being born into the wrong body. I realize that not everyone is as fortunate as I am to be comfortable with oneself that simply. I respect my brothers and sisters of the queer community who are trans* and am constantly in awe of the courage they possess.

While the experience of being trans* differs from the experience of being butch, it is a similar courage that is shared among the queer community—the courage to be true to oneself, despite how people say you should act, behave or look.

So do I characterize myself as being more masculine? As being butch? Yes, I would say so. I also classify myself as being a cis-gendered woman. And that is perfectly okay. It is alright to be true to who you are. No one can tell you who you were born to be, nor do they have the insight in your head to properly label you. Identify as you feel fit, and for the folks who tell you that you are someone you are not?

Well they can just go fellate something.


Kings United: Choosing A Song

Picking a song to perform can be difficult, especially for a new king. If you do a song that no one knows, then you risk it being a flop. If you do a popular song that another king is known for, then you risk being seen as a copy-cat or the inferior performer. So, here are some tips to finding you a hit or even a good number for an upcoming show.

If your persona represents a specific stereotype, such as a “redneck”, then songs in the genre that fit in that stereotype would be best. Going with that example, a country or rock hit like ”Ain’t Going Down ‘Til The Sun Comes Up” or “Carry On My Wayward Son” might fair better that coming out in “redneck” attire and doing “Shake That” or “Cleaning Out My Closet.” Just like if you are taking on a celebrity persona, such as Eminem or Justin Bieber, it would be best doing their songs, rather than coming out announced as Eminem and doing “Baby” or Justin Bieber and doing “The Way I Am.”

So for your first few performances, try hits that the kings in your venue have not perfected. Once you have more of a fan base or those who know your name and face, then try venturing out with a song not known very well, yet still catchy or great to perform.

Some great numbers to do or start with are (in no particular order):

“The Way I Am” – Eminem
“American Soldier” – Toby Keith
“Harder To Breathe” – Maroon 5
“I Wanna Rock and Roll” – Kiss
“Highway To Hell” – AC/DC
“Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It” – Will Smith
“Sexy Back” – Justin Timberlake
“Best I Ever Had” – Drake

“Cupid’s Chokehold” – GCH
“The Call” – Backstreet Boys
“ Mmmbop” – Hanson
“Airplanes” – B.O.B.
“Bye Bye Bye” – N’Sync

(Duets w/ Queens)
“I Got You Babe” – Sonny & Cher
“I’ve Had The Time Of My Life” – Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes
“Summer Nights” - Grease

Chance W Encounters
Drag King

07 February 2012

Partner Circle: Never Stop Fighting

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best, night and day, to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." – E.E. Cummings

Mr. Cummings does seem to have a point, here; one should never stop fighting to protect whom they are from outside influences. But what happens when who you are does not ‘mesh’ with the outside world? When day after day, everyone looks at you as an outsider, and even worse…when you do not blame them, because you see yourself as one as well. It gets harder and harder every day to keep getting up, knowing the same battles await us. But, every morning, we all get up anyway. We shower, we dress, we brush our hair, and we ready ourselves for the day. Then, we forge into battle.

We do this because we have to; we do this because we have no other choice. This is the life we were given, and depending on your faith and belief system, this is the life we were meant to have. For better or worse, this is it. For most of the straight, cis-gendered, white, rich population, that is just fine. But for the rest of us…well, it is just not that simple.

I do not think anyone here will try to argue that sexuality, gender identity, or sexual preference are ‘choices’, but there are those in the world that will try to tell you otherwise. Do not let them. I am who I am because this is the way it was made, and you are no different. This is for all of you – boy and boi, male and female, trans* and cis alike – never let anyone tell you that who you are, is anything less than perfect.

Some of you reading this may not have a partner that supports you in this way; for the first twenty-three years of my life, I was fairly certain such a person did not exist. But all I can say is that it does. Maybe they have not yet to find you, maybe you are not ready to meet them yet. Maybe that loving, supporting person that you are waiting for is right in front of you. Instead of searching the entire world for someone to see you for who you are, look for the one person who already does. I promise, they are out there as long as you can open your eyes.

I personally thank G-d every single day that I am not normal, as I could not even imagine how boring that must be. I urge you all to try to look at life the same way, if only for a day, an hour, a moment, if that is all you can manage. Look at your life and smile; for all that you have, all that you have lost, and all that will never be. No matter how ugly the world gets, no matter how much pain you are forced to face, your life is still worth standing up and fighting for. You are exactly who and where you need to be, and never, ever let anyone tell you any different.

Xx Emily

06 February 2012

No Boundaries: Girlfriend's POV

Hello Genderfuk Boiz, this week I was talking to my girlfriend Kelli who comes across as girly sometimes with dresses, make up and such. She has dated Genderqueer people before and was asked the usual questions 'why does your girlfriend look like a boy, why does she wear mens clothes, maybe you don't really like women.' We both agree that it shouldn't matter what one wears, how they act or who they are. Over the years comments like these stopped bugging and phasing her. She loves people for who they are, not what they wear or how people see them. She sees past the social boundaries and naive comments, loves me for me... for my cargo shorts and sports bras, for giggling when she kisses me, or for my love of romantic movies. I hope someday everyone sees past the social boundaries, and have the world see people for people and love one-another.

I hope all of you get the love and respect you deserve.


05 February 2012

FTM Chronicles: Name Change Info in the U.S.

Ever go to use your bank card for a purchase and the cashier give you a weird look because of your current name and your appearance before demanding for your identification? Well, for a trans guy that could be extremely embarrassing especially after starting hormones. Changing your name is a big deal for transgender folks.

When I did mine, it cost me nothing for the actual name change. My lawyer was pro bono, the filing fees waived, even publication was waived. It could have cost me hundreds of dollars in my state if I did not find this lawyer (link will be posted below next to PA). So, to help my brothers out, I did a little research on each state in the U.S. for filing a name change. Some states have LGBT legal centers that handle these issues, but not all do. If I cannot find a center, then I will post a link to a form or how to in your state. If anyone has done a name change in any of these states, please write to us and help provide information for others to do so as well. Or if any information or links are incorrect, please let us know so it can be fixed. We are all here to help each other out as best as we can.


AL: I could not find a legal center that handled these issues at this time, but from acquaintances of mine in this state, all they had to do was go to their local Probate Judge’s Office to file. A judge was not seen, but a small $18-19 fee was charged and their name was changed.


AZ: ;




CT: ; an acquaintance in Avon also said they just went to the court office with ID and Birth Certificate, made an appointment and it went through fairly quick; ; see New England for more links


DC: Apply for a case with the civil division by calling (202)-879-1133 or see a clerk in JM-170 of the Moultrie Courthouse. Fill out Application at , then apply in person at the Moultrie Courthouse. A fee will be needed, not sure on the actual amount. Then you get a court date and appear before a judge. Not all in the same day. ;

FL: ;

GA: ;




IN: ;


KS: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different

KY: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different

LA: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different

ME: ; ; see New England for more links

MD: ;

MA: ; ; (trans friendly lawyer) ;see New England for more links



MS: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different

MO: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different

MT: ;

New England: ; ;


NV: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different

NH: see New England for links

NJ: ; ; (the legal services I used for my name change)


NY: ; ;


ND: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different


OK: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different

OR: ;

PA: (the legal services I used for my name change) ; ;

RI: ; ; (trans friendly lawyer) ; see New England for more links


SD: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different

TN: ;

TX: ;

UT: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different

VT: ; see New England for more links

VA: ;

WA: ;

WV: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different


WY: see AL for the same procedure though costs may be different

Well, that is each state in the United States. I apologize for not having a lot of information for each individual state. As I stated above, please contact us at or me personally on my face book page or email at if you have done a legal name change in the US so we can share as much information on this much needed process. I know I did a lot of research on my particular state, so others will have more information on theirs. This way we can keep this updated for all.