07 February 2012

Partner Circle: Never Stop Fighting

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best, night and day, to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." – E.E. Cummings

Mr. Cummings does seem to have a point, here; one should never stop fighting to protect whom they are from outside influences. But what happens when who you are does not ‘mesh’ with the outside world? When day after day, everyone looks at you as an outsider, and even worse…when you do not blame them, because you see yourself as one as well. It gets harder and harder every day to keep getting up, knowing the same battles await us. But, every morning, we all get up anyway. We shower, we dress, we brush our hair, and we ready ourselves for the day. Then, we forge into battle.

We do this because we have to; we do this because we have no other choice. This is the life we were given, and depending on your faith and belief system, this is the life we were meant to have. For better or worse, this is it. For most of the straight, cis-gendered, white, rich population, that is just fine. But for the rest of us…well, it is just not that simple.

I do not think anyone here will try to argue that sexuality, gender identity, or sexual preference are ‘choices’, but there are those in the world that will try to tell you otherwise. Do not let them. I am who I am because this is the way it was made, and you are no different. This is for all of you – boy and boi, male and female, trans* and cis alike – never let anyone tell you that who you are, is anything less than perfect.

Some of you reading this may not have a partner that supports you in this way; for the first twenty-three years of my life, I was fairly certain such a person did not exist. But all I can say is that it does. Maybe they have not yet to find you, maybe you are not ready to meet them yet. Maybe that loving, supporting person that you are waiting for is right in front of you. Instead of searching the entire world for someone to see you for who you are, look for the one person who already does. I promise, they are out there as long as you can open your eyes.

I personally thank G-d every single day that I am not normal, as I could not even imagine how boring that must be. I urge you all to try to look at life the same way, if only for a day, an hour, a moment, if that is all you can manage. Look at your life and smile; for all that you have, all that you have lost, and all that will never be. No matter how ugly the world gets, no matter how much pain you are forced to face, your life is still worth standing up and fighting for. You are exactly who and where you need to be, and never, ever let anyone tell you any different.

Xx Emily


  1. LOVE your articles. You are already helping me and my boyfriend who is transgender alot. We were together a year before he came out as female to male recently. It is still hard for me, but I love him. Would you be able to write about dealing with your girlfriend coming out as ftm mid-relationship? I still slip up on names and pronouns, but he seems ok with it since he just came out.

  2. Thanks so much! I am just glad at least one person out there can benefit, and just know you are never going through anything alone.
    I already have a topic lined up for next week, but coming out mid-relationship is on my list, I promise! Look out for it before the end of the month, for sure.