13 January 2012

How Can I Help You? : First Edition

How Can I Help You?: First Edition

We all have people we can run to for advice but it's always good to have someone who is unbiased and comes from the same back ground as you. So from now on if you need advice on any topic please feel free to email them to I promise to never disclose who sent me the questions and as well I'm anonymous. This is a safe zone and I will always do my best to keep it this way. So far we have two questions; I hope this advice can help those who sent these questions in as well as anyone who reads this.

Q: I think my partner is cheating, what should I do?

A: I'm so sorry to hear this. What makes you think this? I know no one wants to sit down and ask if their partner is happy and is faithful. But sometimes we need that piece of mind to reassure us that everything is smooth sailing still. A lot of the time they're not cheating but something else is going on like work, friends, family and our partner just isn't opening up to us so it comes off as them cheating. So, just sit down with your partner and remember not to put them on the defense right away (I KNOW YOU'RE CHEATING!!!). Tell them how you've been feeling, any clues or moments that have led you to think they're cheating. Remind them how much you care and that you just need a little reassurance that you're still number 1 in their book. If something does come up, then just talk it out as two mature adults as best as you can and try not to say things you might regret later.

Q: I went through my boyfriend’s phone the other day. I know he likes other FTMs, but the messages in there really got to me. I don’t know how to talk to him about this. I know I was in the wrong, but what gives him the right to talk to another person like that when he is with me? UGH HELP??

A: Yes, you were in the wrong to go through his phone, but now that it is done you need to talk about it and what you saw. Remember that some people are just flirty by nature but mean nothing by it to those who aren't their own partner but sadly in some cases it's a bit more. Sit down with your boyfriend, and tell him honestly that you were on his cell phone and saw flirty texts and like the question before, ask what his feelings are towards you and ask if he has feelings for anyone else. Then after he clears his intentions and feelings up for you then you should apologize for going through his phone and promise him not to again.

For everyone, please remember that the main foundation of any relationship or friendship is honesty. I know personally that sometimes it's scary to talk feelings out and make sure you both are on the same page. But also remember for each little lie or information we leave out on purpose, it just makes everything build up more and always come out in the end.

-Sage Veritas

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