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05 October 2011

Your Name (2 months ago)

  • Today everything revolves around names it seems. So we want to know the story behind your name. Whether you are FTM that changed your name to fit your gender identity, a masculine lesbian who dislikes their feminine name, or drag name. Names vary a lot, but in my experience, a lot of transguys have the same name (ie Aidan, Hayden, etc).

    My legal name wasn't always Chance Mysteri DeSilvah. Actually, my lawyer is still working on my name change (should be finalized in September). My name is not common by all means nor reflects the name given to me at birth. Like most transguys, I was born with a very feminine name. My mother was originally told by doctors she was having a boy. So she picked the name Brian John. My older cousin who was allowed to name me if I were born female, picked Baby Lisa. Yes, Baby as my first name. Well, needless to say, the doctor, or a higher being, messed up and out popped a female. Quickly my mother named me Lisa Marie. I have despised that name my entire life, even as a small child. I was the poster child transguys, though my mother refused to believe it, tossing it to the side as a "phase." At the age of three a family member called me Chance after doing some daring reckless stunk, to this day they won't tell me what I had done. After that I refused to be called Lisa. Ignoring everyone who didn't comply with my name, except my late Uncle Howard, who called me Lee. He told me when I was eight there was a mystery about me and he wanted to help me solve it. He always told me to be who I truly was inside, but never gave me any details. When I was ten, he died from cancer, age twenty nine. I took it extremely hard. After nine months of blaming myself and crying every night for him to forgive me and come back, I took upon the name Chance Mysteri. I even refused being called Lee, claiming only my uncle was allowed to call me that. That was, until my youngest sister was born when I was fifteen. Right after she was born, I had my second "coming out." My first being in grade school when I came out as gay. This time I came out to everyone around me as transgender.

    Today, I look back and see that my uncle knew. I was young and he did not want to overstep his boundaries. I see that now. And he is still one of my heroes to this day. I never told anyone until now about the true meaning behind my middle name. I always just said it was a nickname that did not stick. Well, here is the truth. The truth of the name Chance Mysteri DeSilvah.

    Now it is your turn. Tell us your name's story. And if you are struggling with finding your name, some of us may be able to help find your true name so let us know.



    -WolfBoi
    about 2 months ago · Delete Post
  • My birth name was Francesca Miya Dean... so how did I get to
    Franki Tumultus Alexander? And why does 'Miles' deserve a special mention?


    Firstly Francesca. For most of my life most people have not even called me this. Mostly relatives, official and authority figures. I did use to really like and be proud of my name: it is pleasingly aesthetic, and at the time it was pretty unique. However, it was too long for most people to spell or pronounce correctly [ you have NO idea how often people got one or the other wrong] and usually a letter or two too long for videogame handles! So I had both Fran and Frankie (and 'cesca out of sheer laziness by my sister for some time). Frankie was given to me by my best friend in primary school which at first I HATED. Hilarious knowledge to me now, of course. Once I'd got to secondary school I drifted from my best friend, and switched exclusively to Fran to my peers (although the nastier ones made up their own names that i refuse to give lip service too). It was just a lot easier all round. The longer I was referred to and used the convenient Fran, the more abstract my 'real' name became. My identity was built up and attached to Fran. By college at 16 I'd stopped bothering to say 'Francesca-but-call-me-Fran' and just introduced myself as Fran because that's who I was. Francesca was just a novelty fact about myself.

    My trans awakening was a bitty process and not crystal clear trans road map. I'd first really conciously acknowledged there was something different about my gender at about 18, in my first year of university, semi-came out as a boy to my boyfriend, then the following summer one night freaked out about a life of scary surgery and omg i've got it totally wrong and went racing back in the closet. As odd as it may seem for you hyper aware types, I actually forgot about it. Maybe it was suppressing who knows. but it started to rise again the next year. at first i rejected all gender like a second-wave feminist and believed it was all one big con and i was having none of it. I bumped into a trans* person on a totally unrelated forum and nervously, almost didn't, sent a tentative question saying i had slight gender issues but they were probably little and no big deal but could they help. it snowballed from there and i've had an evolving identity crises ever since, mostly settling on genderqueer. I'm now 21 and out of uni.

    I digress. I decided to changed my name at the ending of my final academic year.

    Fran had become too mentally attached to my old, female life. So I went with my old nickname. I dropped the e after reading about too many female Frankies. I felt Franki was a unique and androgynous variant. Sometimes it bothers me to still have the same root, but I honestly can't think of myself as a whole new name. it's too ingrained. I don't mind still being called Fran too much but I now consider it a contraction of Franki and Franki to be my true name.

    I was going to have Miles as a switchout of Miya because it's a great name and it's the first name of 'Tails' from sonic the character who I used to always play as. Just nerdery and nostalgia there. Plus my family has some weird thing about having an M name somewhere according to my mum. But I decided I needed for my name to not be so easily comparable to my old one. I still like Miles and like it as one of my top choice pseudonyms. It's on the name bench, so to speak.

    My Surname changed as part of needing a fresh start, for privacy and mental freedom.
    Alexander, which could have also been Alexis, could have been first or a middle name, but it just happened to work better as a surname. Alexander, or Alexis, is a cool fantasy esque sound, male yet could be androgynous if shortened to Alex. It also would have been my first name if I'd been assigned male. Bittersweet, empowering reclaimation,.. or a nice homage to my parents? All of the above probably.

    Tumultus was a shout out to my new more politcal, activist life recently and hopefully in the future - it is 'Latin for 'uprising' and shows my love for wordplay and English etymology.

    The name choicing was also based on word flow but i can't recall my exact process. My Word size has reverse flow to my old name. Long short short to Short Long Long. I also during my process of playing around with the four names paid attention to intials order. FATM (pointed out to be Franki against the ma(n)chine hehe) once, and I nearly had FTM!!! Which while funny at first would soon grow weary. I think the final FTA is quite innocuous and I get to be Franki The Alexander too. :P

    I tried having Alexander as my first name but i just couldn't get use to it. Sometimes I feel like losing my root altogether and becoming alex[/ander/lexis] or miles or felix or issac (two names i also like for geeky characters in Golden Sun reason actually come to think of it Alex was in Golden Sun too lol).

    My name is not perfect but it is so incredibly thought out to the last detail.



    about 2 months ago ·
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  • Out of interest my male-assigned middle name would have been Gryffin. Very very cool. but would have been a pain because of harry potter, then awesome because of harry potter, but then I AM RAVENCLAW. Fun fact.
    about 2 months ago ·
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  • I remember whenever my mum told me about my 'born as a boy name' i always thought SUCH A COOL NAME.

    Also my middle name was very nearly poppy instead of the admittedly cool but totally wrong for me now Miya. Poppy... so even less like me than the feminine Francesca or Miya it's ridiculous. Also glad to ditch surname Dean, while sad for familynesss, when the very name Dean suggests a conservative authority.

    about 2 months ago ·
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  • Thank you guys for posting. This is pretty heavy stuff and it's nice to see we aren't alone in the world and everyone has things that don't get shared often. Thanks again, you're great. - Jenn
    about 2 months ago · Delete Post
  • My birth name is: Stephanie Reyes. I have always hated my first name and it does not fit with my personality. At 17, I joined the military as an Aerial Gunner and was surrounded by guys. There were only 4 female gunners to approximately 100 male gunners. Being in the military, prohibited me from being “gay” or expressing my thoughts about wanting to become a male but that was not necessary. During one of my deployments to Iraq, the crew of 12 guys agreed they couldn’t refer me by my first name…it did not fit me, so they gave me the nickname “Rey” or “Rey Rey”. Within a month, everybody in the squadron referred to me by my nickname given, I loved it. Once I got out of the military, I decided to stick to it. I am pre everything and eventually, I will change my name to Stephen but for now, Rey is my name.
    about 2 months ago ·
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  • Well my birthname is Patricia Beatrice Guyon - I hated that name and was always called Pat or Patrick by family as a joke. I always played mortal kombat and used Jax as the character. This year when I finally came out at Transmale. I had originally had the choice between Michael Thomas Eclipse and Jaxx Thomas Eclipse. and with the help of my ex Ashley Herres I choose Jaxx. Since my name my family and alot of friends still try to call me patty or patricia or pat and i dont respond... Now at work I am called Jaxx but they still use female pronouns for me, bc of my gender marker and force me to us the f bathroom. I am pre everything. and it is harder for me to pass because I am very femme in the face and everything.
    about 2 months ago ·
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  • i have to respond to my old names with my parents or they would get really mad at me. it's so not fair.
    about 2 months ago ·
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  • living at home again is really ruining my gender confidence. misnamed and misgendered etc 24/7. when i try to pull my mum up on something something-ist she just laughs and calls me a rebel without a cause.
    about 2 months ago ·
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  • Well My mother names me Wendy Lynne when I was born. She had cancer and was told that another child was out of the question. When she found out that she was pregnant with me, she told god if I was a girl she would name me Wendy (like peter pan) because i would be an excellent mother. After 4-5 months, she was told I was going to be a boy, every ultra sound came up the same, so then my name was going to be Drayden Michael. When I was born on June 13th of 1983, I ended up being a little girl, with a lot of boiz clothes lol. My sister kept telling my mom that i was definitely going to be a lesbian. and I was only 2 yrs old. Well as it turned out at 9 yrs old. I told my mom i was gay, and at 16 everyone started calling me christian Michael, when I turned 18 my mom told me what she was going to name me, when she thought I was a little boi. And ever since than Drayden Michael Enloe it was.

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