01 February 2012

Partner Circle: Trans Guy Interaction

I am not your typical blogger for this column, but I am here to give a slightly different perspective. Some may know this, some may not, but I am queer. I have dated cis woman and other trans guys. We all know that trans guys have a tendency to date each other. We also know that trans guys flock to each other in groups. What some do not know, though, are the ignorant and hateful things trans guys say to and about each other.

Like any relationship, platonic and romantic origins alike, trust and open communication are major factors. There are good days and bad days for a trans guy, for example being body dysphoria. Openly talk to your partner about what is going through your mind. He should understand and be able to comfort you and ease your mind a bit. Now on the flip side, if your partner comes to you having a bad day with this issue, then be as supportive as possible. Do not assume just because you are not having a bad day that he cannot be having one. Just because you are together, that does not give you the right to discredit their emotions or criticize them.

If a fellow trans guy comes looking for advice, then help out as much as possible. Do not criticize him or his choices. It is one thing to be a mentor or a helpful friend, but it is another to be a complete and utter asshole. Not every trans guy is the same, so do not treat each the same or assume he is not ‘trans enough’ just because he goes a different route then you have. As Robert Frost said,

“…Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

Be helpful, be open, be honest, be true, be loyal. No matter if it is your partner, a close friend, or a random guy in your community (group), each guy is a guy. We are all individuals. We all have different, yet similar, needs and wants. Every person is different, and that goes the same for trans guys.

Treat each other with respect.


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