This week lets talk about that thing we have to do every day but hate doing... Using the public bathroom!
I'm not sure about you but knowing that when I go out I will have to use to public bathroom and betting that most likely I will have some awkward moment or confrontation, it makes me uneasy. You're out with your friends for a movie night, you're excited and happy being accept by your friends and enjoying the movie. Then...you have to pee... your walk to the restroom seems longer than it really is as you decide if you want to go into the restroom you're used to going into or the restroom where you probably will pass better in. Then when you decide to use the restroom you usually go into as is the one that matches the marker on your ID, then you decide if you want to act more like those in that restroom to hopefully not deal with those who will give you a hard time or just walk in, hold your breath and hope no one gives you dirty looks or yells at you for using the restroom. Oh the things my androgynous friends and I've heard in restroom:
You're in the wrong restroom!
Do you know this is the ladies?!
You know your boyfriend isn't allowed in here! (referring to another Genderqueer partner I was dating at the time)
This is the men's restroom over here! Stop! That's the women's!
Uh.. do I have to get security?
I'm sorry but I'm 5'5" and only 125 pounds.. I'm small and if I was a bio male I'd be what, maybe 14 years old and most women could take me if I did anything. So please just let me go in, do my thing and get out, I'm not going to rape anyone as a lesbian or as the boy most people think I am! Whenever I see a unisex bathroom I get so happy that sometimes I even text my friends and tell them I didn't have to panic or debate on trying to create some girly model walk before I go in. I get that I have a shaved head and wear men's clothes so I don't get mad at people, I just feel like I'm educating them, but sometimes I feel like they might cause more trouble then just odd looks. I don't always feel safe, sadly out of fear of the unknown and being uneducated people have been beaten up for using the restroom in which those in the restroom don't understand that each person is individual and has the right to go in whichever restroom they feel fits who they're best. I can handle having looks and such, I love educating and helping people figure out societies 'male' and 'female' are just the extremes and that there is a huge group of people in the middle. I can't wait for the day when we can go into the bathroom which ever we pick and not have to have our guard up. Until that wonderful day is here, I've found a website that you can find and post gender neutral bathrooms to help each other out.
http://safe2pee.org/new/browse.php
I hope I've helped with with your future bathroom needs :)
~Chels
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